I’m not even suppose to be here today.  –Dante Hicks

Sometimes you have to let those hard to reach chips go.  –Dante Hicks

That’s what Life is, a series of down endings. –Dante Hicks

I find it best to stay out of other peoples' affairs. –Randall Graves

There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, –Randall Graves

It's important to have a job that makes a difference.

This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers. –Randall Graves

You'd feel a hell of a lot better is you just rip into the occasional customer. –Randall Graves

Insubordination rules.  –Randall Graves

Title does not dictate behavior.  –Randall Graves

What's a good plate with nothing on it.  –Jay

There’s a million fine looking women in the world, but they all don't bring you lasagna at work, most of them just cheat on you.  –Silent Bob

I love the smell of commerce in the morning. –Brodie Bruce

Face forward, or you face the possibility of shock and damage. –Brodie  Bruce

Fear and respect that escalator. –Brodie Bruce

Women want romance, not Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. –Trisha Jones

Everyone wants Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. –Brodie Bruce

The customer’s always an asshole. –Shannon Hamilton

When a girl says it’s a good size, it’s a nice way of saying it's small. –Brenda

I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda. –Shannon Hamilton

Understanding is reached only after confrontation. –Ivona

There are some things that you don't talk about in public. –Brodie Bruce

Adventure, Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things. –Silent Bob

Those movies (the Stat Wars Trilogy) are about how the Whiteman keeps the Brotherman down, even in a galaxy far, far away. –Hooper X

Archie’s a sista. –Hooper X

Read between the lines, bitch! –Hooper X

Everyone needs dick. –Banky Edwards

All every woman wants, al-be-it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep dicking. -Banky Edwards

Everyone has an agenda. –Banky Edwards

Never take your eye off the Man. –Hooper X

Word is bond. –Hooper X

Bitch, what you don’t know about me I can just about squeeze into the Grand Fucken Canyon. –Silent Bob

There’s one bitch in the world, one bitch with many faces. –Jay

Do or do not, there is no try. –Silent Bob

Some doors just shouldn’t be opened. –Banky Edwards

That’s all that life is, a serious of moments. –Loki

Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody’s a theology scholar. –The Metatron

Existence in all its form and splendor functions solely on one principal, God is infallible. –The Metatron

Don’t ask so many questions, just serve your purpose. –The Metatron

Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer. –Loki

There’s nothing worse then watching a fucking fat man weep. –Jay

Movies are fucken’ bullshit. –Jay 

The major sins never change. –Loki

Guys like us just don’t fall out of the fuckin’ sky ya know. –Jay

Your exploits, no matter how inane, are well documented in heaven. –Rufus

You know what makes a human being decent, , Fear. –Loki

 It doesn’t matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. –Serendipity

Don’t let your sympathies get the best of you, –Bartleby

You never reveal all the details of your plan no matter how close you may think you are to winning. –Azrael

Whole fucking world’s against us, dude: I swear to God. –Jay

All are accountable, even God. –Bartleby

Go bandit, Renald’s style. –Brodie Bruce

Once they made She’s All That, everything went to hell. –Brodie Bruce

The Internet is a communications tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another. –Holden McNeal

Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms. –Holden McNeal

Jay and Silent Bob only work in small doses, if at all. –Chickmagnet

The Internet has given everyone in America a voice and evidently everyone in America has chosen to use that voice to bitch about movies. –Holden McNeal

Sometimes you do Reindeer Games. –Mat Damon

Don’t fuck with the Jedi master, –Cock-knocker

That’s what the Internet’s for, slandering others anonymously. –Banky Edwards

Life can be split into two categories: New Jersey and New York.  –Ollie Trinke

George Michael is a pimp who is all about the ladies.  –Ollie Trinke

Like the Prince of Bell-Air is ever going to have a movie career.  –Ollie Trinke

Cats was the second worst thing to ever happen to New York City.  –Ollie Trinke

Man cannot live on porn alone.  –Maya Harding

Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are.  –Maya Harding